lately i have been spending a lot of time thinking about things. big things. like what the fuck am i doing, what do i really want to do, why do i behave in one way or the other, what the fuck is wrong with me.

maybe nothing is wrong with me and it’s everyone else. (okay. highly improbable.)

my thoughts are all woolly and crude, but it’s a start.

i guess.

the only conclusion i have been able to draw is that i have to stop living in survival mode and plan ahead. a five-year plan would be great. hell, even a two-year plan would be already beyond awesome.

so i am working on a dream-slash-goal list.

my first dream-slash-goal:

i would like to will stop living in survival mode.

and i’ll figure out to how to get there on the way.

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